Tammy Carnevale has been a member of Faithful Finish Lines 2.0 since January of 2020 and has lost 125 so far, bringing her starting weight of 349 pounds down to 224 pounds. She also manages her Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia with the tools she has learned in FFL program. Her passion is to use her writing and her own experience to help and support other women on their own weight loss journeys and managing chronic illness.
Use these powerful prayers against shame to seek God’s help for a life of emotional freedom, self-confidence, and peace.
We have all heard that God works in mysterious ways. Well, I am here to tell you from experience that I know He does because I’ve seen it firsthand. Not only are His ways mysterious, but they are perfectly timed.
I have felt shame countless times over my weight. I had reached a high weight of 349 pounds. With God’s help and guidance, I have lost 140 pounds. I could detail this article with many weight shames in my life, but, until recently, I hadn’t experienced shame in any other part of my life.
Enter God in all His wisdom.
I was recently part of a large layoff at my institution. Due to this and me being the main financial support in my family, I had to lay some bills aside until I could secure another job.
God did not cause this, but He did use it to teach me valuable lessons. Lessons that I can now share with you.
After my layoff, the shame came barreling in. Shame on me for not paying my commitments on time. I put on shame like the evil garment it is.
Shame took from me my very ability to focus and think. I was riddled with anxiety and didn’t want to participate in any part of my life. I thought that if I couldn’t pay my bills, I didn’t deserve to have fun or enjoy anything else in life.
Shame led to these lies and more. I felt worthless, undeserving, and isolated.
I continued with my devotions, but there was a hole, a missing part. Shame had led to my feeling that I was not worthy to be with God.
Shame had separated me from God.
Have you ever experienced a feeling so deep that you want to hide, even from God? You are not alone, and there is hope.
Please read on to see how God helped me out of shame and into His light.
Understanding Shame
Shame can occur when there is guilt, hurt reputation, or embarrassment, especially with public exposure.
Think back to a time when you felt shame. Were you guilty of something—overeating, not paying bills, stealing, or lying?
My most recent shame came when I was not able to pay my bills. This was going to be public, my credit would suffer, and several organizations would know I was not paying my commitments.
The Holy Spirit has led me to share this story with all of you and to be vulnerable so that you can learn as I have.
One of the most powerful ways to conquer shame is to bring it from darkness into the light.
I have experienced shame before when I ate a whole box of Hershey candy bars and hid the evidence. I knew it would be made public once the evidence was found. I was ashamed of myself. I didn’t want anyone else to know.
Shame often results in:
- A loss of dignity.
- Emotional pain.
- Medicating for the emotional pain with food, money, immoral relationships, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, rage…
My shame for not paying commitments led to unhealthy eating, which led to gaining 2 pounds in one week. For someone who has had the struggles with weight and food that I have, this is a big warning sign to me that something needs to be addressed.
The shame I felt from not paying my bills led to overeating, which led to more shame from gaining weight, which made me want to pull away from other people in my embarrassment. I felt like I couldn’t share this with anyone or ask for help, because then everyone would know what a bad person I was.
You can see how the shame cycle spirals out of control.
So what is the difference between guilt and shame?
Have you ever experienced a time when you were guilty of something?
- Eating an extra brownie
- Binging on a bag of potato chips
- Lying to get out of work for the day
- Using money meant for a bill for something fun instead
- Drinking just a little too much alcohol
Guilt can be used to help us better ourselves. We can feel the guilt, take responsibility for, and correct our mistakes.
But if we look at one occasion and start comparing it to all the other times we were guilty and start to equate that to who we are as a person, this can lead to shame.
Guilt says, “I did something wrong,” while shame says, “There is something wrong with me.”
Guilt is a feeling that we get when we believe we did something wrong. Guilt can usually be pinpointed to a specific event, mistake, or sin.
Guilt can actually be a really positive thing. We should feel guilty when we do something wrong. That’s one of the ways the Holy Spirit convicts, protects, and guides us.
Yes, I felt guilty because I did something wrong. I didn’t make several commitments. I could have used this guilt to spur me on to call my creditors, explain myself, and maybe find a temporary way out. but I didn’t.
I allowed myself to spiral from guilt into shame.
Shame was not encouraging me to take responsibility in this situation. It simply tried to convince me that I was a terrible person.
I felt worthless. I felt like this was even more proof of that feeling that had come and gone all throughout my life.
- I had tried many times to lose weight but couldn’t.
- When I knew I shouldn’t eat the box of cookies, I did.
- I knew I needed to exercise, but I made excuses not to.
- When I told people that this time I was going to lose my weight, I returned to those people even heavier than I began.
- When I stepped on the scale at 349 pounds.
Yes, I was guilty of not paying my commitments and of overeating. I could take that guilt and improve with God’s help, but instead I spiraled into shame.
Shame can make you feel worthless, undeserving, and isolated.
You are not worthless, undeserving, and you are not alone. I am not either. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Causes of Shame
Shame can come from guilt that is not used to correct a situation. It can also be caused by:
- Unintentionally believing lies about yourself and what others believe about you.
- Hiding behaviors that cause you guilt
- Feeling as though your flaws or inadequacies are being revealed
There is nothing positive about shame.
Brene Brown has written some very helpful information on where shame comes from and how to heal from it.
The Power of Prayer Against Shame
There are steps to help you overcome shame, but there are also ways to be on guard to catch it and prevent it.
Use these 3 steps to overcome shame.
- Identify if you are feeling guilt or shame (ask yourself, “Is this helpful or harmful? Is this guiding me toward good or self-destruction?”)
- Confess your sin to God (and others, if necessary).
- Ask for and accept God’s forgiveness.
It can be difficult to identify shame before it occurs. This is where the power of prayer is so evident.
Talk to God and pray daily. Not just once a day, but consistently throughout your day.
How do you build a relationship?
You meet with a person, you have conversations, and you begin to bond. This is the same with Christ.
He wants to have a relationship with us. To have a close relationship with God, meet with Him, talk to Him (prayer), and be in His word.
When you are in a close relationship with God, you are in the light. Shame wants you in the darkness.
As darkness starts to creep in, God will highlight it for you. He will see it coming, and through prayer and His word, you will know when shame is after you.
We do not have to count on our own abilities or power, but we can rely on Him.
5 Powerful Prayers Against Shame
1. Prayer To See Yourself Through God’s Eyes
Heavenly Father,
As I come before You today, I am filled with gratitude for Your presence in my life. You are the source of all love, wisdom, and understanding. I humbly ask for Your guidance as I seek to see myself through Your eyes.
Help me to let go of the judgments and criticisms that I often impose upon myself. Open my heart to receive Your boundless love and acceptance. Let me see myself as You see me – as a beloved child, worthy of love and compassion.
Grant me the strength to overcome feelings of doubt and insecurity. Fill me with the confidence that comes from knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image.
May Your grace transform my self-perception, allowing me to see the beauty and goodness that You see within me. Empower me to live each day with purpose and gratitude, knowing that I am deeply loved by You.
Thank You, God, for Your endless love and grace. With You by my side, I know that I can overcome any challenge.
In Jesus’ name I pray.
Amen.
2. Prayer for Forgiveness And Freedom From Past Mistakes
Heavenly Father,
I come before You humbly, acknowledging my shortcomings and mistakes. I carry the burden of past wrongs, and I ask for Your forgiveness and guidance on my journey towards freedom.
Lord, You know the depths of my heart and the weight of my regrets. Please grant me the strength to let go of the past and embrace the forgiveness that You offer so freely.
Help me to release the guilt and shame that bind me, and to accept Your grace with an open heart. Teach me to forgive myself as You have forgiven me, and to move forward with courage and faith.
Fill me with Your love and peace, knowing that in Your mercy, there is freedom. Help me to learn from my mistakes and to grow into the person You created me to be. When I mess up again, help me not to hide in shame, but give me the courage to try again.
Thank You for Your endless patience and compassion. With You as my guide, I know that I can find true freedom from the chains of my past mistakes.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
3. Prayer for Strength in Vulnerability
Heavenly Father,
In moments of vulnerability and shame, I come before You seeking Your strength and grace. You know the depths of my struggles, and You understand the weight of my shame. Help me, Lord, to find the courage to face my vulnerabilities with honesty and humility.
Grant me the strength to confront my past and the mistakes I have made. Teach me to embrace my vulnerabilities as opportunities for growth and healing, rather than sources of shame.
Fill me with Your love and acceptance, Lord, so that I may let go of the fear of judgment and condemnation. Help me to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image, and that my worth is not defined by my mistakes or shortcomings.
Lord, I surrender my shame into Your loving hands. Wash away my insecurities and fill me with the strength to walk boldly in the truth of who You created me to be.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
4. Prayer for Wisdom and Guidance
Heavenly Father,
In moments overshadowed by shame, I turn to You for wisdom and guidance. You know the depths of my struggles, and You understand the weight of my burdens. Grant me the clarity of mind and the discernment of heart to navigate through these challenging emotions.
Help me to see myself through Your eyes, as a beloved child worthy of love and forgiveness. Give me the wisdom to recognize the lies of shame and the courage to embrace the truth of Your unconditional love and acceptance.
Guide me in discerning the lessons hidden within my experiences of shame. Show me how to grow stronger and wiser through these trials, rather than allowing them to define or defeat me.
Teach me to extend grace and compassion to myself, just as You have shown me boundless mercy and love. Help me to release the grip of shame and to walk confidently in the freedom of Your grace.
Grant me the strength to forgive myself for past mistakes and to embrace the opportunity for redemption and renewal that You offer.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
5. Prayer for Healing and Renewal
Heavenly Father,
I come before You with a heart heavy with burdens and wounds in need of healing. You are the Divine Physician, the source of all restoration and renewal. I humbly ask for Your healing touch to be upon me, body, mind, and soul.
Grant me the courage to confront my pain and the strength to endure the process of healing. Help me to release the hurts and resentments that weigh me down.
Renew my mind, O God, and fill it with thoughts of hope and redemption. Let Your light penetrate the darkest corners of my heart, illuminating the path to wholeness and healing.
Grant me the grace to embrace this season of renewal as an opportunity for growth and transformation. Help me to surrender my fears and doubts into Your loving care, trusting in Your promise to make all things new.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
Breaking Free From Shame
I shared with you how I spiraled downward into shame, but that wasn’t the end of my store, and it’s not the end of yours either.
I prayed for strength, forgiveness, freedom, wisdom, guidance, healing, and renewal. I prayed these prayers for days and weeks.
I didn’t just pray. I also listened, and I followed what I felt God was leading me to do.
And God answered. He brought me miracles—a new job, a new desire for health and wellness, and most importantly, freedom from shame.
He didn’t have me come up with piles of money to pay my bills, but He did lead me to see that I am not a bad person. I need His help. I can’t do this on my own.
I prayed through redoing my budget, and it isn’t pretty and lush, but I am not only asking for His guidance, but am taking action to follow it.
I do not have guilt over my circumstances and choices anymore because my choices are now led by prayer.
God is good, He will be with us every step of our journey, just invite Him along.
Shame is the work of the devil, and we don’t want him on our journey. Together, let’s kick Satan out of our lives and pray God into them.
God did a marvelous job of ridding me of shame over my finances. He also led me away from shame in my weight loss journey.
If you remember back, I mentioned I stepped on the scale at 349 pounds, which led to shame. Through prayer and following God’s lead, I have lost 140 pounds. I have 30 more pounds to lose, but I can do this through prayer and following God’s guidance.
Ann Voskamp recounts a powerful, emotional story of understanding your value in God and not giving into shame.
I do not have a perfect life, and never will until I am home with the Lord, but having God beside me every day shows me that I am worthy, I am deserving, and I am not alone.
You too are worthy, deserving, and not alone.
If you find yourself drawn into shame or character assassination, please pray the prayers above. God will help lead you out of shame and into a life of freedom with Him.
If you start to feel guilt. Deal with it head-on and know it is a mistake that you can fix. It is not who you are.
“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun”
2 Corinthians 5: 17
I’d love to hear about your journeys and how you found prayer to lead you to freedom. There is a comment section below that you can contribute to.
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